Mon, 30 November 2009
Moooo...Ten cows, one dream: to be the next California Happy Cow! And this web site wants you to decide which talking bossy gets to go. Can TV ads get any goofier? Ooh, that smell...When residents in section of the Land Down Under ripe for brush fires complained of a natural gas odor, fire crews in Victoria, Australia lept into action. But how do you put out a very big and very flatulent pig? 100 Proof bird...An Irish pub in Midtown Manhattan toasted Thanksgiving by serving toasted Turkey. The recipe is easy. Soak old Tom in high-octane Russian vodka, give your customers straws (for the vodka shot reservoir the boozed bird is served with), and top off the meal with a free cab ride home. Admit it. Family holidays are best spent getting blitzed. Driving while stupid...If you've been following along you know there's no shortage of dumbness behind the wheel. Like the guy near Pittsburgh who didn't realize (until firefighters flagged him down) that his van was ablaze. Or the two men in the Czech Republic who got lost, and actually DID stop to ask directions. Trouble is they asked police. Oh, and they were wanted. More coffee?...Brazil is second only to the US in coffee consumption. Or maybe not. Maybe that's corn, soy and wood they're drinking. In Rio, who can tell? But she can type...Her boss was late getting to his flight so she did what any quick-thinking secretary would do. We don't recommend it. Airport security has zero sense of humor. Feature artist...The Philadelphia Inquirer calls 'Slo-Mo' Philly's "best and only, funky hip-hop steel-guitar band." Mike Slo-Mo Brenner & Mic Wrecka got it goin' on with their hot CD, Gimme What You Got. Enjoy! Follow us on Twitter... http://www.twitter.com/2kens |
Mon, 23 November 2009
Potty training...Dr. Stool, aka Anish Sheth says there is much you can learn about yourself in the bathroom. A gastroenterologist by trade Stool Man has written two books dealing with what our pee, poo and gas tell us about our health. Don't know about you but we prefer our bodily functions not speak. (extra credit if you know how many times a day you're supposed to break wind) I want my CUPCAKES! ...While most of us fret over unemployment, health care costs and those wacky Taliban, folks in and around Berkeley CA worry about where their next cupcake fix will come from. A city ban prevents a popular mobile bakery from dispensing these sweet delights from parking meters. Worry not, sugar junkies, sign this petition (it's real) and take back your cakes! Over the river and thru Concourse A...To grandmother's house we go this Thanksgiving. Be careful what you pack. Those always-helpful TSA airport inspectors have new marching orders. (hint: leave the leftovers with granny) Honk if you see Eric...As every woman knows, men will not stop to ask directions. Aussie octogenarian Eric Steward went waaay out of his way to prove the point. Poor old guy would still be driving if he hadn't run out of land. (No truth to rumors, by the way, that FBI agents in San Diego believe Eric could be the Geezer Bandit.) Support your local sheriff...Heard the one about the pot farmers who loaded up their hemp and moved to.. well.. too damned close to the law? That's why -- say it with us -- they call it dope. Feature artists...F&M is a Canadian folk/alternative/pop band started seven years ago by Ryan & Becky Anderson. The one-sheet says their music is "gently sardonic, dark and hopelessly clever." We think you will find their Every Light Must Fade CD to be much more. We're giving one away in the first 5 minutes! Follow us on Twitter... http://www.twitter.com/2kens |
Mon, 16 November 2009
Celebrate with us...Our golden anniversary show features an exclusive interview with Rex Fowler who, alongside Neal Schulman these past 37 years, have been the folk rock duo Aztec Two-Step. We spotlight several tunes from their Days of Horses CD, music - The Boston Globe opined - reflecting American pop culture and these legendary artists ride through it. Putt-putt, Japanese style...Small country, limited land for sprawling golf courses or practice space to work on your game. Enter, the world's first combination bra and putting green. This one talks back when you sink your shot. (we heard that!) Arrrrnold likes VIDLY...The governator uses video sharing service VIDLY. Shouldn't you? It lets you point your Twitter tweeps to Vidly. Um, we know fiscal times are tough in California, but how much can Schwarzenegger be getting paid to hype redundant technology (hello? YouTube!) Must have been traffic court ...So this perp goes to court, swears to tell the truth, and raises his right ... well... not his whole hand. You liked Garden & Gun...Now enjoy three more magazines we've unearthed that really exist. Why, we haven't a clue. You can guess what Imbibe and a similar publication, Draft magazines are for, but we defy you to identify the market for Garden Railways. If you can they probably will hire you. Quiet! The mailman will hear you.A British couple aren't taking a summons for violating a noise ordinance, lying down. Well, they are, but that's the point. No worries, she has an excuse. A note from her sex therapist. Oh, good. Do over...If you're on the lamb but don't like the mug shot the cops are circulating, here's an idea. We will NEVER run out of material. Follow us on Twitter... http://www.twitter.com/2kens |
Mon, 9 November 2009
This is CN - um - Fox...James Earl Jones may want to record a disclaimer after the most recent screw up at CNN. Gotta love cable news wars. We'll never run out of fresh material. Miracle of birth, profanity and all...Streamed live over the Internet for all the world to see. A Minnesota school teacher plans to chat with viewers during delivery. Don't end the humiliation there. Name the kid, Google. In case of emergency...Unhook bra... pull cups apart... place over your face - and the man of your choice. Bra-mask was invented by a Chicago researcher who clearly has way too much free time. Darn. Wish we knew about this before Halloween. You should see him in a car wash...Heard about the perp who attemped a drive-by shooting, but forgot to roll down the window? You guessed it. Wisconsin. Three's company...A Tax-a-chusetts town has come up with a clever little scheme to pad their coffers by picking on cat lovers. More than three and you pay a fee. Last brain to Clarksville...Memo to the town fathers of this Indiana burg: next time you decide to shell out $1 million on a new fangled fire truck, first have somebody measure the fire house. Loomis & The Lust...Our feature artist has taken Santa Barbara CA by storm by taking funk rock back to the 70s. Get down with two of their tunes, Break on Love and Sweetness. Follow us on Twitter... http://www.twitter.com/2kens |
Mon, 2 November 2009
Banished to the cornfield...Facebook spells out their policy for dead users. Turns out you need proof to bury your departed loved one's profile. Probably in FarmVille. It doesn't get much goofier than this. What's German for "this is ART?"..."Long Live the Graveyard!" That's the slogan for an ad campaign by cemetery gardeners in Deutschland. They hope to change your thinking about death. After they plant shrubs around you does it matter what visitors think? DUI for Dummies...Think it's easy being a patrol cop? One minute a drunk clown is bearing down on you, the next a tipsy, sopping wet cow is blaming a GPS malfunction for making your day. Bloated burgers for bloated software...Seems like a fair swap. Microsoft and BK Japan team up to bring you -- well, it ain't health care reform. The O in OS must stand for obesity. Somebody alert Ted Turner...Bookies will love him. NFL officials may castrate him. Chad Ochocinco's vast posse on Twitter could be in for a treat. The Cincinnati Bengals receiver who changed his legal last name from Johnson to his uniform number (you get the picture) plans to start his own NFL news service on Twitter called OCNN (smell a lawsuit?) to compete with mainstream media. Oh goodie, we need more of that! TV never looked better...Some day all programming will be delivered this way. Until then, these two geniuses probably should give up crime. Ten Year Vamp...Our feature artist is a female fronted power pop band from Albany, NY. Debbie Gabrione and Ten Year Vamp have won numerous regional and national awards, sold thousands of CDs, hit the Billboard charts, played 100-200 shows a year the past six years and shared the bill with bands like Nickelback, 3 Doors Down, Lifehouse and the Spin Doctors -- all without benefit of a major label. They've been dubbed the next No Doubt. Give a listen to 'Never Know' and judge for yourself. Follow us on Twitter... http://www.twitter.com/2kens |