We can’t do stupid without you! We close out 2013 the way we began: ogling some rear– er– bumpers in search of inspiration. Found it! Our Fun With English segment proves the art of publishing without editing is now rectal viral. That’s our noose. Stay stupid out there. We get down with funky NYE music from PsychoVoyager and that just […]

2Kens to Papa Duck Talk about irony. The Dynasty patriarch blows out his own candles on our birthday! Buh byeeeee! (listen for our lovely parting gift ;-)) Paul Simon said it best Looking for ways to end your marriage (and nobody gets hurt)? Stupid.com can help. Or get creative with your gift and see how fast the locks change. Why […]

Cleanup in aisle 9 125 years have passed since Hanakkuh and Thanksgiving last converged. Big dilemma. Can we spin the dreidel at Grandma’s once the pumpkin pie is gone? No one alive knows if that’s kosher. Another meshuga thing? The damned stores are open– Black THURSDAY, really? Pity the poor retail drones. Doors swing open and […]

The revolution will not be televised Train wrecks and local TV news. We watch because the oral surgeon is booked and Jersey Shore got cancelled. FOX stations excel at pain. Thick as a brick Pink Floyd Florida Tour. Comin’ to a skuul nar yew. Every week, a new box of chocolates. Music from Swamp Cabbage. […]

Goodies galore in our Halloween edition. Some advice? Don’t stiff the tricksters. Some may heave eggs raised in the Amazon. Also a bad idea to let your kids write your obit. Last show of the month means another freshly, half-baked batch of Fun With English. Debut music this week from Indie rock duo Arrows and Sound, and a solo project from a […]

iStupid…  Know what the barista geek behind the Genius Bar really thinks? Mash PLAY, assuming you can read. Sweeney Todd, Act II … We bite the hand that bleeds us. You listening, Skype? Musical guest… if you like James Taylor and John Prine you’re gonna groove on L.A.’s Ted Brown! We feature two tracks off the New Zealand native’s newest […]

The Early Show Join us at the anchor desk as a Charlotte TV station brings back a 91-year old legend to read ... um ... wait. Nap time. Leisure craft or Getaway vehicle? You decide. We're peeing our pants. This is one dumb sonofabitch! Music from Portland's own Anna Lombard. Her new debut solo album Head [...]

Postal ポルノ A Japanese police chief got lucky when a naughty catalogue showed up with his name on it. Poruno is taboo in the House uh Land of the Rising Sun. Direct mail porn! Who still gets it that way? Buyer beware A house for sale advertised not to last long, a dominatrix mouse, stupid password help from [...]

Crab apples ... Happy Fall. Now get off our lawn! TV news takes another bashing, this time from a media critic who needs a diaper change. Spoonful of ... Don't know which is funnier, the chimney sweep (or whatever the hell he was doing) or the name of the guy leading the "Confined Space Rescue Team." You [...]

This week we explore the source of a fair share of your insanity and ours: technology! Good thing we’re not, like, addicted to it.   Wait until you hear this batch of actual workplace tech trouble calls. Helicopter parent? We found an app to get you hovering higher than any mom or dad in the 'hood. Oh, lazy lover [...]

Attention Walmart shoppers: Free wedding cake in Aisle 9. You know we don't make it up. Plus ~ 2Kens Public Enemy #1 .. a road sign after our own hearts .. a fresh batch of Fun with English .. and three bozos who forgot the key to getting away with a crime is getting away.  Enjoy the show! Special musical guest: Jim Armstrong! Toronto's [...]

Fish were jumpin... Summer's dog days dwindle and we long for a time when life was easier. When everyone knew their place. If only Stepford Wives were real (and came with a generous trade-in allowance).  One last vacation postcard. Our #1 all-time fan favorite. Be glad penguins don't fly.

You must be a ... Apologies to the greatest dang Southern rocker and fiddler extraordinaire, Charlie Daniels, but it's been a coon's age since we whistled the South's Gonna Do It Again. Note: teeth not optional Let's enjoy some of the language - verbal and musical - you would only hear on the highways and [...]

Pulling strings... Remember the TV news station in Cleveland who sent puppets to cover a corruption trial? Tits McGee had the night off. We flash back to our #3 most popular show of all time ... "Puppet Justice." All rise. Hookers, hooters and brown boobies... Made ya look. We caught news sites running that ploy. [...]

Big cojones, tiny brain A small town mayor with a higher blood-alcohol than IQ tests a local cop- with unpredictable results. Moooood swingers Our summer countdown of your favorite episodes returns to the magic barn where the bovines give mellow milk. You made this one our 4th most popular. Thank you!

With sex you get egg roll ... Rail commuters in China get an eye full which begs, how many got off? Last show of the month means we have more Fun With English, plus - Fantasy Football: The Musical? We flashback to our 5th most popular show ever. Broadway will never be the same. Also a Caribbean [...]

One had Choo Choo Coleman How does TV news differ from the '62 Mets? You really have to ask? Losers all. Exhibit 1: the graphic genius at NBC Nightly News. Not to be outdone, ABC News 20′s morning team proves that exposure to extreme heat makes you stupid. Or maybe it just goes with the job. Beeper would be proud [...]

Ice Ice Baby... By now everybody knows the Web's most watched ice cream vendor has added DUI and getting canned to his CV. But the big news is all the free PR Mr. Ding-A-Ling is getting on local TV in upstate NY - because Ronald McDonald is covering the story! Our Summer countdown of the Top 8 All-time most popular [...]

No need to suffer Sip some of this. We're beating the heat by counting down the all-time most listened to shows, every week between now and Labor Day. Of the 246 to-date, only 7 are more popular than this one! Quick old chum, to the Laughmobile!

June swoon... If you're lucky your bridezilla came with a pre-wedding warning label. If not, well, that's why God made Reno, Nevada. Invited to one? Careful with that gift selection. A door closes, a window opens ... Which makes better neighbors- fences or an Army base? Answer: depends on what's in your garage. (begins at [...]

Check your man brain at the door and welcome to 2Kens Dinner Theater. Tonight's feature ... Ice Cream Truck Turf Wars: The Musical. Be sure to try our toasted almond Margarita. Is there a realtor in the house? Bay State dead need housing.

FAIL! Some things we just don't want to know. Won't stop FlyerTalk from printing it. Some one needs $30 badly enough to swim in sleaze. PS: you can use an alias. If at first you can't abstain... YPSILANTI. We think it means, City of Braindead Lawmakers. You want cuffs with that? Without dumb luck she'd have.. WAIT! Is [...]

You didn't see the puddle? Can't wait till these RTs flood our timeline. [starts at 12:20 mark] Also this week: what craigslist looks like after the prostitution police shut 'em down. Other stuff we didn't make up Quite possibly the world's worst hire for a fairly common city job, plus advice for would-be burglars: Don't fall asleep on [...]

They want their MTV... Mayberry TV that is. A Carolina station time-shifts Sheriff Andy for local news and hears it from the Denny's 4 p.m. crowd. Don't screw with hungry codgers! A strong gust of wind... ..and old man Huyett orbits his farm- TP in one hand, Montgomery Ward catalogue in the other. Might be what it takes to [...]

Happens every Spring. Snooki must be ROFLHAO over a protest some NJ moms and their future prom queens are waging. Strapless? Pfft. Child's play down The Shore. Lawmaker commend thyself. Meet State Senator Jon Lundberg. Never did a deed he couldn't take full credit for. How do they get elected? Plus, a freshly messed up batch [...]

Epicurtunist... Don't bother. Webster's can't spell 21st century & Google's busy snapping pix of your house.  Take any heinous act, notify marketing, add Twitter. PRESTO! Enough self-serving bullshit to feed a city. Condé Nast must be so proud. (Oh, grow up! The shareholders ain't whining) This show contains content some may find offensive. There's a flash! Other crap we didn't [...]

Surviving tax prep season? Helps if you laugh about it. This week’s show will help you forget for 15 minutes that we are the Have Nots. We found the world's most spoiled toddler … the dumbest idea in dining out history … and two criminals too stupid to breathe (if only). Music from Boston piano rocker Matthew Ebel and [...]

Neighborhood Block Head Watch... High crime where you live? Hand out scatter guns. Arizona, no less. No foolin' - Two universities actually spent research $$ to study whether darkness makes you dishonest. Heard about the bank robber who nobody took seriously? Sucker is a sucker does. Music from Alaskan country blues band Steelhead and trop rock from Harbour [...]

Mirror Mirror... Harper Government. Dangle it in mixed political company, step back and admire the bonfire. While neo-cons and liberals spar in Parliament, Jack & Jill Q Public rage (to little avail) against his Majesty, PM Stephen Harper, a.k.a. China's best pal in the Western hemisphere. If you missed it, late last year Mr. Harper began reshaping the [...]

All that glitters ... Beware Leprechauns bearing gifts. Maine governor Paul (insert nickname here) LePage made the pre-dawn St. Paddy's Day bar crowd giddy with a swipe of his pen. But what's on tap? Listen and learn, kiddies. Other stuff we didn't make up ... Sweden legalizes the "I always drink a lot" defense... Post online from the [...]

This week's stupidity... Too Big to FAIL? Try Sequestration. What's worse than a colonoscopy, cockroaches, Donald Trump and Genghis Khan? Survey says: Congress. [our take @ 11:25] Career Wrecker dot com ... Need a job? A few tips on how NOT to land one. (Also advice on how not to keep it!) Real Milwaukee ... Hey Fox 6? It's [...]

Crime pays Want to write about prostitution? (Dear Zumba ) Know anything about transmissions? Opera? (which one comes with auto or stick?) Cool classifieds inside. Shoot me now! Those who favor gun control have never been driving instructors. A TV news crew caught this student on camera. Lady, step away from car! Plus... a fresh batch of Fun With English [...]

Honk if you're lost! Pop quiz. (no cheating!) What county in Ireland just legalized drunk driving? What major US city dumped its stupid No Honking law by waging war on ignored street signs? True or false: a robber in Louisiana forgot his mask so he stuffed his head in a bucket. (hint: Deep South) Dear Abby and newspapers. Living or dead? Listen, laugh, learn. Music by [...]

Holy Kiosk! Have you heard? Your deity takes plastic. Let us pay. Hawkeye Pierce should check his DNA... A former U.S. President who earned battlefield glory (for the other side!) 50 Shades of Mediocrity... The reviews are unanimous: E.L. James should take a writing class. Gilbert Godfried could narrate. Musical guest... singer/songwriter Jennifer Vazquez wants to be Pinocchio. You'll [...]

Extastentialism bites... Try as they might the scourge of Skype and their tech support trolls could not stop us. Worst TV ad of 2012 (Boston gangland style) .. Clever bumper stickers .. Etymology run amock .. and a dolt who proposed without spellcheck. She said "yes" anyway (how long you give it?) Happy Birthday, Andrea! Please [...]